It cheers me up ♥

♥. No one will manufacture a lock without a key.♥
-Similarly God won't give problems without solutions.
♥. If you miss an opportunity don't fill the eyes with tears.♥
- It will hide another better opportunity in front of you.
♥. Mistakes are painful when they happen.♥
-But year's later collection if mistakes is called experience,which leads to success.
♥. Evey successful person has a painful story. Every painful story has a successful ending. ♥
-Accept the pain and get ready for success.
♥. "Changing the Face" can change nothing. But "Facing the Change" can change everything.♥
-Don't complain about others; Change yourself if you want peace.
♥. If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it.♥
-If a problem cannot be solved what is the use of worrying?

3.3.12

长牙?!

16岁不懂几个月的我,正在长牙。
非常好...肿了右边,肿左边;
痛了右边,痛左边。
娘呀,几时才生完啊?
嘴里的最后两颗牙是叫智慧牙吗?
所以我又经历了人生中需经过的成长过程~
这提醒着我了。:)

15.1.12

负面思想

最近在看一部有关心理病的戏...看看下也不自觉地在check自己是不是也有隐藏的心理病。
自闭症?强迫症?自恋症?忧郁症?反社会人格障碍?还是洁癖?洁癖应该是没有 x)

强迫症,我应该有一点。希望别人都依自己的方式做事...也只接受自己喜欢的东西。
自恋症,是我看了这部戏才知道自恋也会是种病。当某人过度欣赏自己,要别人都以自己为中心,每天都在问“我和她,谁比较美?”or“魔镜啊魔镜,世界上谁最美?”,答案也只能有一个,就是“你”。本人,是有点这些症状。可能是狮子座的关系,比较霸道,也希望别人能称赞自己,把自己放第一 :P


今天的重点应该是“反社会人格障碍”。I like this name.多么优美的名称~
这个病是讲一个人有严重的叛逆现象,18岁以下叫BPC(Beyond Parental Control)。我虽然没到伤人这个阶段,但我总觉得我有这个potential...

我觉得我将来会是个坏人。不折不扣的奸人...
可能从小在家里面对了一些问题,导致我变得坚强,还是“奸”强?把我的心锻炼成硬的。
我最看不过就是那些无病呻吟,懦弱的人。
Hello,这个世界是残酷的,你不自己坚强,谁帮你坚强啊?
适者生存”,软弱的人是无法在这世界生存。
就冲着这个思想,我好像变得有点...极端?

有时候会不自觉地认为“人不为己,天诛地灭”。
我将来,会不择手段来达求目的吗?我会不理家人,只顾着自己生活吗?:/

最近妈妈讲我说话有点...过火。不是我想顶嘴,但我不能去接受一些错的事。(强迫症?)
她好像把学习,考试都看得很简单,很轻。
家人不给我压力,对我没要求,使我变得更对自己要求高。
你们可以规定我考试必须拿几个A,将来必须做些什么吗?
怎么好像只有我傻傻在给自己要求,自己在慌,自己在努力..

那天跟她在车上讲关于学业,她似乎有点不在乎,觉得她在看轻学业这回事,觉得考试很容易。结果我照常回她“酱容易你来考咯!”,谁知她生气了-.- Blablabla地在骂我做么讲话怎样子,酱没礼貌。我知道我的说话方式是不对,可是我只是想让她知道,考试并不是这么容易,在生气她为什么不知道她女儿对自己的要求...

而今天,某件事情,我心里是开着玩笑地跟她讲某句话,她竟然骂我自私,“做么你现在讲话都这样子?!越来越没礼貌,越来越会顶嘴??”..LOL,我只能无奈,有点受伤了。毕竟我的幽默,他们不懂。可能我是怪胎,跟他们好像没什么心灵相通,总是被误解。习惯就好。
但也因为这样,我觉得潜伏在我内心的坏思想慢慢地显露出来,慢慢地变坏。连处事待人也慢慢变糟。我会越变越negative,到最后变反社会人格障碍吗?

可能我太我行我素...觉得自己没有必要去接受自己认为错的事。老实讲真的不需要~
所以才会让妈妈或别人觉得我没礼貌,不分尊长。=)

At the end of my story, I am still have no idea what were I talking about..






3.11.11

..

Is this the sign of the end of my family? ... i wonder.

7.8.11

Bye~

11.23pm. Off to sleep! Goodbye birthday! See you next year ;D

6.8.11

I am 16 years old

Hmmm gonna turn 16 after 2 hours..
Excited? Happy? Maybe?
Just feel like time flies so fast..I am already 16 in a glance..sigh~old ady la ~.~
Gonna celebrate with my dearest friends tomorrow~ :D
Mama thought wanna celebrate my birthday in church after service, papa wanna bring us to have steaks..
hmmm maybe tak jadi? dunno~
The thing that I realised was I am loved! :') Thank you that you all still remember 7 August is my birthday~Happy Birthday :)

22.7.11

Short post

原来我还是不会跟人诉说心事...
又再一次把难过独自吞进肚子里了~
算了吧~下次再试。

今天一到学校就期待着体育节的到来...想借着运动来发泄...
果然,没让我失望 :)
忘我地跟朋友们玩羽球...还翘课跑去玩~wow 学坏了呀:P~
对手换了一个又一个~算算下我最少跟了6个人玩
整个身体可以讲是软完~
玩球时,我笑了 =)  朋友们,下次再继续!

回到家,睡午觉时,背后很痛 -.- 本人老了。



最后,给你,对不起对我来说已经是没感觉了。所以,别在做错事后跟我说这话。我,不会忘记你做了什么。别奢望我不把它当一回事。

11.7.11

The Real of Me

Leo is a constellation that always has a bright face,passion,ohm and appears gorgeous. So am I..opps :x
But...you will never know what's hiding inside them indeed...Let me tell you about this =)
They don't like to share their things as they think people are not interested in it..so it's unnecessary to share.

As you observed me more,you'll find that there are tears in my eyes..
As you see through my heart,you'll see a broken heart with plasters over it..
As you touched my heart,you'll find out blood flowing out from it..
Yea..this call sorrow.

朋友说我不把真实心情写在这,那只好写一篇真正关于我的post.
我!其实是难过的...
当你仔细观察我,你会发现我眼角有泪;
当你看透我的心,你会看到一颗破碎的心;
当你不小心碰到它,它会流血。

平时的我总是脸带笑容,而笑容也是我骄傲的地方:)
它很甜,牙齿也不错...oopss对不起,我又自恋了~我说过如果没有酱的我,你们的生活会很闷的..至少能弄到你们无奈地笑 ;)
重点是为了你们,我笑到鱼尾纹都有啦=(

但你们知道吗,离开人群后的我,是孤单的。
我没有一个能完全敞开心房说心事的朋友,觉得自己很可悲,心里充满了忧伤。
不是你们的错,是我自己的隐藏。觉得你们对我的事没兴趣,所以没必要说。
那我就只说一遍。

对,家的确是我的死穴。

爸爸,对我来说,陌生?哦,啊,嗯是我们平时的对话。
他说我和妹妹们是他的宝贝..那妈妈呢?你的佣人?
宝贝?对不起,妹妹们可能接受。可是我,遗传了你的性格,听下就好,我没放在心。
我不了解,妹妹们甚至是妈妈,为什么会原谅你所做的一切?
喝醉酒是理由?没听说过酒后吐真言吗?
你说阿嫲死后你要搬回家乡。难道我们的家是以阿嫲为支柱?
你能不要我,可是你不能不要妹妹和辛苦的妈妈。
一直在想,如果我是男的,或许能保护妈妈多一点...宁愿那些痛是打在我身上。
或许你改了,可是本人还没从那阴影走出来。原谅我还不能释怀。
主,也原谅我还没法原谅他。

9岁那年,家庭变了。小妹的出世。
一年...住了院整整一年。过着没有妈妈的日子一年。
一次又一次看着因为缺氧而快死掉的妹妹...没什么能比这个痛了。现在还会痛。
爸爸还问她为什么要出世。这是我最恨的一句话!看着现在的妹妹,你有没有后悔问她这句话?我很好奇。
如果ah bii 大了,突然想起爸爸问她的这句,会不会心痛?只能希望妹妹没记住这句。
小妹是除了妈妈以外,我最想保护的人。你们能不嫌弃她吵,嫌她好动,体会她所受的苦吗?
别怕,姐姐在这里 :)

最想回避的话题就是家。你们的爸爸妈妈有没有...会不会...我不喜欢这个。
每当一提及家,我的心就无比地痛...痛到喉咙去。我的心至今都还没被开启。
唯一庆幸的是,我认识了耶稣。祂就是我倾诉的对象,安慰我的对象,摸我的头告诉我没关系的神。感谢主。
所以芬,你是幸福的。父母和谐,妹妹健康。问题是你怎样看自己的问题。他们忽略你没关系,你自己珍惜自己就好。我反倒希望他忽略我,把爱分给妈妈。



我,想要有人发觉我的忧伤;
而不是自己到处张扬说自己有多可怜,有多难过,有多需要安慰。
可是别人没必要酱关心我吧?

我,不想一直是那个开解人,安慰人,逗人笑的小丑;
我想要有人抱着我,让我哭,拍我的头,告诉我说:“It's ok.”
可是我是谁?没必要要人家酱费心安慰我吧?

别人理你是人情,不理你是道理。


我,想要有人疼!我喜欢人家摸我的头,sayang我,因为我需要=(
你们能多注意吴晓琪其实是没有酱开心么?
她的笑都是假的,她的乐观只是为了遮盖她的悲观,她的笑只是在隐藏她的泪,她之所以sampat只是为了隐藏她破碎的心。

朋友对我来说很重要,因为我的家并不完美。
只有在朋友面前,你能看到笑的我。
感谢你们的出现,喜欢的和不喜欢的,因为你们我才活得更有意义。

就酱__我的真实内心。第一次,也是最后一次 :)



2.6.11

Renew

I'm here to renew my blog as I've said in the last post~
Well,as you all know,it's holidays now! But...it's quite long for me~ -__-
Nothing to do at home! Sleep,eat,bath,eat,sleep,bath,eat,play,sleep....ARGH! Boring wei!! >:(

Exam__hmm tough! 3 weeks wei~0.0 never thought that I'll be sitting exam for a long long period..sat for exam the whole 10days ++...non-stop having my exam..7.40am-1pm..EXAM EXAM EXAM~wow tension :x (physics huh? LOL) ..
but it's quite challenging for me :P It gave me the strength to study,burnt midnight's oil all 3 weeks..as the result,pimples grow around my face -.- feel that I'm a zombie during exam.. sleep, read, exam, read, sleep, exam..what a tedious life :/
So now just pray that my results won't be that bad~AMEN

Friends__只能说“有朋友真好” :') Just feel that my friends are all care about me. AMBIL BERAT! lol peribahasa pula xD No matter what happened,thanks u all for supporting me, sharing ur love with me, giving me a smile when I'm sad, scold me when I'm lost sometimes (yea,it's u..FEN), teaching me, criticizing me and so on..just can say THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU ALL
Fen,Erl,Chun and Huang..all my babes~ I DO care u all...对不起一而再,再而三地让你们失望。it's just sometimes hard to balance both friendship and love..给我时间,让我慢慢做好你们希望我做的东西..可以吗?I ♥ you all! Jinjak!! Don't leave me even though I'm xxx, please~ =(

That's all for today__you can go back~lol my teacher tells me this at the end of every tuition class x) BYE 

9.5.11

Mid-Term

Well..having mid-term now..3 weeks man!! O.O
Gonna burn midnight oil for over 20 nights! Borrow me some fuel oil please..
Just hope wont get panda eyes and pimplesss all around my face x(
My hand cramps because of  today's BM paper...cool ._.


To myself : "stupid girl..just try your best!" (yea yea yea..try my best..but still hope can get good result mah >.<)


To be continued___





9.4.11

Merentas Desa

I use broken english for this post ya. ;)
Today my school had held an event called Joy Run / D'Perdana or whatever..
7am something reached school, then gathered at tapak perhimpunan..lined up bla bla bla..
then teachers gave us bread and mineral water.."makanlah nanti awk pengsan"heard this sentence everywhere..maybe we are too weak for teachers..


Bertolak__no.4 bus..cantik cantik punye bus..siape tau itulah bus yg bermasalah. -.-
It disappeared when the time we back -__-! my bottle still in the bus.. T^T no.4! I remember you! >:(
Cikgu,tolong jangan order company ini anymore.


Taman Wetland..a big leisure park. Walk till i wanna die. We WALKED for 1 and half hour. The LAST one xDD same with last year and we are proud of that x) Main point is SYAHBANDAR WON AGAIN!! Congratulation!!! :DD 


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My recent news:
Well, I am satisfied with my first test result..Straight As xD kakazz
2A+5A3A- Thank God!! and...I am da no.1 in B class~ (sorry, it seems that I am showing off.)
but the sad thing is nobody cares about no.1..
"who is no.1?"
"Xiao Qi.."
"oh~ no.2 leh? o.o"
wtf no.2 more important wah x( 
Can't you all just give me a WELL DONE? :(


hmm THE END__

1.4.11

April Fool

1st of April, is such a wonderful day...
You can hear many unordinary things happen around you..
"eh..just now teacher xx find you..ask you to see her right now." or "your zip...!!"
and ended with "APRIL FOOL!!" xDD
---------------------------
This year, I felt like wanna celebrate April Fool which I never celebrate before this..
so started searching for victimsss~ kakakazz
First thing I did was text my dearest baby and told her that I will absent today..
but she is a smart baby~tak kena pun :P   
Then many more..1,2,3,4,5 bla bla bla..continuing my mission lol x)
Love how they look stunned and "har??!" weee~ xDD

Well, I found out that I am a evil that love fooling around people..
For those kena, I am sorry!! >.<
but what to tell you all is.....you look funny!! muahahahaaa~

29.3.11

心累了

累了我...对着人群发出那虚假的笑容...只为了让人开心而笑的笑容...
我能放下笑容,等着别人对我笑吗?等着别人主动跟我讲话逗我笑吗?
有人愿意坐在我旁边听我讲废话吗?请别说我吵...我只需要五分钟的时间让我发泄...
如果你能做到,我感激你...

就酱__

11.3.11

Exam

I, xxx is free from exam!! Let's say goodbye to Bio,Physics,Chemistry,Add maths,Bm,Bi,Bc,Maths,Moral and~ SEJ!!  ♥ 
Back to lazy life... :'D
How's about result?? I do care..but what to do since I haven't put an effort on revision? xD
Just hope that I won't fail my Physics x(
..................
Holidays are calling me..."Hi~"
it's time to earn money!! $.$
Sleep..eat..facebook..movies..blablabla~
..................
Hmmm..not feeling that excited actually.
It's hurt to hurt someone I *dut*
我没想过要hurt你的...真的.
What I can do is just say sorry..sorry..and SORRY. Can we back to normal like we used to be? Please.
...................

However, wish you all could have a nice day~ =)

16.2.11

.

家庭是我的死穴....

26.1.11

Form 4

Adui..Form 4 life ni x easy leh...
Freaking tired. zzZ
First time only slept 2 hours for school...First time staying back for 4 days in a week..
First time met such sucks Bio teacher  LOL xD
and first time got 51 classmates!! 

To be continued___if I am still alive....... :)

31.12.10

2010!

Awww time was flying by soooo fast!
2011 is coming within 8 hours!
What's on your mind guys?

Juz wanna leave a post at the end of year 2010 :)
How was your year 2010? Everything still going well?
No matter it's a good or bad year for you, let's welcome year 2011 with a smile :D
New year new life lol. ._.

23.12.10

.

Just leave me alone guys......

16.12.10

Death Date...

OMFG!! Is it confirm that 23 dec is the PMR result day??
awww my heart beats freakin fast after knowing this breaking news -__-
I'd like to escape from the fact but I couldn't. x(
Well, all I can say is Good Luck for all my friends.

For those are excited for the coming of 23 dec__
actually I can't understand what are you all excited for...tired of waiting?? I'd rather wait it till the end of the world.  x)

For those are afraid of that day like me__
Well well well, let's face the fact guys...
face the fact with a smiled face :) errr I can't make it @_@"
BUT!! Truly advise you all, pls don't commit suicide because of the unsatisfied result..

 You may hug your friend and cry out loudly....
 You may go back home and cry with your pillow,bear or whatever...
 You may ask your parents to bring you to the 5stars restaurant and EAT...
 You may lock yourself in the room for few days...(but rmb to eat and bath)
ehmm what else?? Leave a comment! lol

Everything will be alright~ All-izz-well :D (copy from 3 Idiots kakaz)

25.11.10

昨天的你,很陌生...
你那张面孔,我不曾看见...
你,我不再向朋友说我父亲有多帅,有多好看...再也不!
因为当时,在我脑里,出现的不再是当年的你...


15岁的吴晓琪,长大了...
身为长女,想用长子的身份去保护我爱的家人...
如果我是男的,会不会有所不同?


不再逃避,不再让妈妈单独承受...
担起长女的责任...
尽我所能地保护你们...

我要做得最好.

15.10.10

.

Now I only realised that, I don't have any conversation with my dad for a week..